Here's to you, dad

Man oh man are fathers important! I am so grateful that I grew up with one.
My father has always been the main provider in my family. He has always been my example of a hard worker. He has never let big, or small, things get in the way of providing for his family. He has not only been a provider financially, but he has provided for my family spiritually and emotionally. I have always been attached to my dad. He was always there to offer me advice, hugs, and his unconditional love. I can not imagine my life without my father. My mother is very important to me as well, but my father was able to give the protective kind of love. It is something I am glad I didn't grow up without.

It makes no sense to me when people say a father figure isn't necessary in a child's life. That is not true. He may not be necessary to be a financial provider. But he IS needed for the emotional aspect. Fathers, just like mothers, have a special bond and connection with their children. Only fathers have the ability to fulfill certain needs. If we cut them out of the picture completely, there is no way, not even with all of the love a mother has, the need of a protective father figure can be met.

Oh, and here's a couple pictures of my amazing dad! 

How to lose your spouse in 11 steps

Here are a couple of steps.

1. Build an emotional connection with someone that is not your spouse. Make inside jokes, talk to them about your problems, be vulnerable around them, bond.
2. Encourage visual thoughts of others that aren't your spouse. That could be posters, people you meet on the street, things of that nature.
3. After you've encouraged these thoughts of others, compare your spouse to them. Pros and cons of each. Maybe think you settled when you got married.
4. Forget the reasons you fell in love with your spouse. Forget the wonderful memories and laugh filled nights that made you realize you couldn't live without this person.
5. Forget the selfless service they give you everyday. The things they have given up in order to make the relationship work.
6. Forget the late night talks where you were completely vulnerable and they were there to help, comfort, understand, and love you through the rough times.
7. Forget the struggles you both have overcome. Separately and as a couple.
8. Forget the rewarding feeling that overcame you when you accomplished something so big with your spouses help. Oh! and forget that rewarding high five and kiss they gave you because they were so proud of you.
9. Forget the small details. Forget to give something small and sweet. Forget the ones you have received. Replace them with materialistic and replaceable memories.
10. Forget the promise you made to them and to God to love them forever.
11. Repeat

As you read these 11 steps, I hope you were thinking, "I could never do this to my spouse!" or "How could I just forget about everything we've been through?". That's the reaction most people have. But the sad part is that these things don't just happen over night. They take time. And if we are not careful it can happen before we know it.
So, how do we prevent this?
Remember 3 things.
1. You made a promise
2. Communication is key
3. You married your best friend.
If you wanna read more about the 3 things listed, visit my previous post intitled, "Mawage"

Physical Intimacy

I don't want to talk about the actual act. But the beauty behind it. How much symbolism it has and what it really mean. And why IT IS NOT a recreational activity. But something special between a husband and a wife. 

Lets take a look at this from 2 perspectives. Science and religion

SCIENCE

When we are physical with someone there are three chemicals that are released serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. All of these chemicals are used for bonding. So if you are physical with someone your brain says, "Hey! You should really like them right about now." And they're right! In the moment you do. But what about after? Now there is this void and we don't know how to fix it. So then someone else comes around, and you do something physical and your brain gets all excited and releases the same hormones bonding you once again. Then the void comes back. This is a constant cycle. We CAN NOT control the hormones that our brain releases. So we will always feel a void, even if we are very satisfied in the moment. This, my friends is how addictions are formed. A need to fill a void.

RELIGION

It's plain and simple, we are to wait until we marry the person we love. But why? Well, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe that I make a covenant with my husband, but also with God. If I can not follow His commandment, how can I be true to my husband if I can't be true to my Father in Heaven? We are given the chance to create life. Something so beautiful and so sacred. And when it is with someone that we love and want to spend our life with, I know it will be wonderful. Not in a crude way, but because I know that it is not just an act for us, but a way to become closer, bond. 

Physical intimacy is in no way a bad thing. But it should be done in the right circumstances, within the bonds of marriage, and with the desire to become closer to your spouse. Then, you will never have a void. But a happy marriage and a strong bond between you and your spouse. 

Mawage

So here's the thing, I have no idea what it's like to be married, or what will happen after I get married and the trials my husband and I will face. What I do know, it that there will be MANY changes to my reunite and way of living. So how do I adjust?

Here are three things to remember

1. A PROMISE WAS MADE. Like the clergyman from The Princess Bride puts it, it is a blessed arrangement. How sweet is that?! Remembering that you made a promise to the person you adore, to love, support, and encourage them. Don't forget they made that same promise to you! To me, there is nothing that makes me happier than to remember how excited I am to make that promise with my fiance. Not only do you make this promise to your spouse, but to God. Promising Him that you will be faithful to the commandments He has given you and faithful to your spouse. Just think about that for a hot second. 

2. COMMUNICATION IS KEY! I am not too sure why people don't like to talk about the things that bother them, but it is 110% important! How will your spouse ever know that something is bothering you if you don't tell them? May I also add, that this should be done in a calm and loving manner. Not when you've had enough and are the maddest you've ever been. Tell them what's bothering you, negotiate, fix it, and kiss it better. 

3. YOU MARRIED YOUR BEST FRIEND. Right? I don't know about y'all, but there is no way I can be mad at my best friend for more than 15 minutes. Mostly because he tries to make me laugh whenever I get mad. Or tries his hardest to make me happy. When we marry our best friend, we are marring our number one fan. The person that wants us to be better than we were yesterday. If we think about that goof that we decided to marry however long ago, we will remember that they are not purposely trying to make us mad. And are more than happy and willing to make us happy. 

So I may not be married, but I like to apply these things with my fiance. And trust me, our relationship has been strengthened by remembering these things. It has worked for us and I hope it works for whomever decides to read this post. If it does, i'd LOVE to know! If it doesn't, help me learn how I can fix my theory!  

ALL IN ALL

tweasure your wuv